I think about this often, on and on and on, as if wishing for something that just quite isn’t there, and i fear that maybe it’s never going to be there. We grow up, life moves on, things change. Change is good right? I believe so. Or rather, I want to believe in the power of change. No matter what, after struggling up that one big hill, to no one’s surprise, there are many others after which all seems unending. What is the price to be content? What should we do to see that “happy” exists? Does it truly exist, or is it just temporary? I feel as if it comes around all the time, but it never really always stays put. Isn’t that what makes it exciting and unpredictable? Feel free to disagree, its ok, I feel the same way. 

I thought things were finally turning around. But maybe i’ve just rolled down one hill, and struggling to get on top of another. Some people are on top of the world, while some of us fight against the weight of what lies ahead. 

Maybe I just need sleep, i’ve been grinding my mind. white knuckles. hm.

Another day….”check.”